TL;DR
42 year old, 6'3" ER physician turned investor ($13-20 M net worth) looking for a woman for life partnership and children. Ideally intelligent, ambitious, emotionally mature, and under the age of 34 (or have frozen eggs or other fertility plan) and are open to 3 or more kids (surrogacy is fine) and over 5’3" tall, but I am flexible. Flexible in terms of location as I will bear all the costs of traveling to you for dates and open to moving as well. 😀
Why should you read this and the FAQ?
This website was designed with you in mind. It is the information that I would want if I was in your position. It contains a good deal of information that those I am meeting ask and I bet some of it is useful information that you might not have thought to ask on your own. Please let me know if you have any ideas for other helpful information to include.
Public Social Media Accounts
https://www.instagram.com/dwpaulde/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dillon-paul-md-b238a684/
https://www.facebook.com/woodchuck
Strategy:
I (like many) am overwhelmed by the abundance and inefficiency of online dating, particularly the many vague and superficial profiles and indirect communicators that make it inefficient to determine with whom we would have mutual interest connecting. To help streamline the process, I created this website to outline information about me, my preferred strategy (but I'm fine with accommodating yours as well), and what I look for in women to invest the time and energy to date. My hope is to reduce the frequency of the same basic questions and help make it easier for the women who have aligned values, goals, interests, and personality find me for dating, friendship, and networking.
I am willing to go Kelce for Swift style with my phone number on a bracelet if you help me identify my Swift. Happy to enlighten you on Travis' story and how I relate to it.
Dating:
My home base is in Dallas, TX, but I’m mobile and do all the traveling/moving to make dating and relationships easier for the hardworking, ambitious, and successful women with whom I like connecting. I will re-emphasize this because it's unusual and can be a source of confusion, but I am happy to take on all the time and expense, and uproot my location for the women I want to meet and then ultimately the woman whose heart I want to win. I moved to Omaha where my last girlfriend lived once we became exclusive.
My Dating Mantra:
Dating is not just a means to finding a life partner, but a more dynamic process. Most won’t be the “one” and some may not be compatible romantically, but wins come in friends, business contacts, sports/hobby companions, partners for our friends, and other networking. And incremental growth or being touched by or touching the life of others happens more than we realize. We shouldn't become overly focused on finding our life partners without appreciating and being open to the many wins along the way.
Deal Breakers
I don’t date those with previous children and generally don't date those not wanting children or those not open, able, or likely to be able to have 3 or more biological children, although I'm fine with surrogacy and even egg donation if bad luck prevails for my partner and I.
I also don't date those with active substance abuse or history of addiction/dependence, but truthfully I also try to identify and avoid other characteristics suggestive of active or high risk of global life dysfunction, as I like women that function at high levels.
I want a partner who believes they can become comfortable with aborting a pregnancy with genetic concerns identified on prenatal testing (for example, Down syndrome but many others identifiable). I apologize in advance to the many who will find this offensive and disrespectful to a politically, religiously, socially, and emotionally loaded topic. I respect the woman's ultimate right to choose and change her mind on this issue once they are pregnant (and others right to believe no one should be allowed to have this choice) and would work through the issue at that time, but I'd prefer to find someone who believes they are inclined to this decision as I’d like to do everything I can to avoid committing to a life long union with a woman who ultimately holds the sole decision making of bringing a high needs child into the world, which I feel strongly is something I want to avoid with use of modern technology and have no ethical concerns with such, nor do many women I meet..
Description of Me:
Age: 42
Height: 6’3"
Weight: 200 lbs
Eyes: hazel/green/blue?
Hoodie: waiting for you to steal
I am a nonspiritual, ethical, capitalist, business owner, investor, and emergency physician emeritus who hasn't practiced clinical medicine for over 2 years due to a re-shifting of priorities and interests after transitioning from my most successful investment to date, which re-shifted my financial needs, goals, and position. I dedicate my time and energy to investing, working on myself (being coached, personal growth, improving EQ, communication, and confidence, etc), and finding a life partner (settling down and having a family). I grew up in Wilmington, Delaware, but my family is now in Tucson area [Dad (civil engineer who has an architectural degree as well), mom (retired physician assistant and former assister in regulatory compliance for agrochemical industry), uncle (sports medicine doctor), aunts (nurse midwife and retired former librarian)], Boulder area (nonbiological Bosnian exchange student brother who lived with family in high school and his wife and daughter), and Altadena [greater Los Angeles where sister (partner at big law), brother-in-law (accountant focusing on accounting software development), niece live]. I have no kids and have never been married (engaged for a month to my first girlfriend). I want kids, with current inclination to be as many to which my partner is agreeable (3 or more preferably) with reassessment together as we go and I'm fine with surrogate and open to egg donation in the unfortunate event it's needed. I don't use any illicit substances including drinking.
Financial:
I am a VHNWI (maybe between 13-20 M although I don't keep close tabs and these things fluctuate and are hard to estimate when it represents large holdings of private businesses and volatile stocks). I live a simple and inexpensive life independently but am flexible to the complexities and can easily afford the expenses desired by most women and plan to invest heavily on my children's education and assistance with many of the time consuming and tedious tasks of child rearing. However, I like women who make significant contributions themselves, so it feels like a strong partnership and am drawn to successful and ambitious women such as those in finance, lawyers, executives, and doctors. I do appreciate women who are financially successful and thrive and are valuable in our capitalistic world and I believe there are benefits in terms of lowering financial risks for both parties in the unfortunate event of divorce, especially with children (which I hope to avoid) and imagine there is a more balanced dynamic when both partners are financially secure and thriving. I'm also very thankful of the additional modeling and genes for the children and strength it provides for the family unit.
Values and Transparency:
I am interested in investing my time, energy, and money in principled women, so I like to be able to have strong indications of values, aspirations, history, and/or interests. I prefer transparency upfront, to help us see whether we are interested in developing a connection and getting to know each other further.
Politics:
I come from a progressive family and schooling and focus on respect, but avoid proselytizing about my support for sustainability, LGBT, and pro-choice to name a few. I am open and non-judgmental in immediately sharing any seemingly invasive information others find helpful to identify dates, life partners, or other people with whom they would like to make a meaningful connection, so I prefer you jump right in as I appreciate directness.
Past Relationship Positive Feedback:
Off the cuff feedback from an ex-gf: emotionally available, secure attachment, handled personal finance/investing for her, taught her skiing (and I'll add I'm happy to teach all sports or anything: circle of competences listed elsewhere), loyal, honest, funny (especially funny when not trying to be), moms love me, prioritize being available for loved ones when requested, generally agreeable and respectful of strong opinions of which I disagree, non-confrontational, and not a yeller. Can provide additional feedback from her on any specific factors you'd like to know before dating (including the things I needed to work on which are listed in the FAQ) or you can speak to her directly if you'd like, although it was my first relationship and I've grown enormously since then as it ended about 6 years ago.
Review by Two Female Friends:
Kind-hearted and genuinely good person with strong morals, good manners, reliable, caring, loyal, honest, smart, ambitious, and cute. I met both online dating and dated one. Can connect you with them if desired.
Interests:
playing sports 🥏⚽️🏀🎾🏐🏓⛷🏂🏄♂️🏋🏼♂️🤾🏼🏊🏻🚵🏼 pickleball and games. I exercise daily, often through team sports (currently basketball and ultimate frisbee most frequently) and weightlifting. Business, investing, and Warren Buffett have become recent passions over the last couple years, but I've had previous phases I've gone through in triathlons, personal finance, critically acclaimed rock music, emergency medicine, resuscitation, emergency airway management, procedural cadaver labs, etc. Self-improvement is a driver for me and my current focus has been emotional intelligence, dating, fostering attraction, and other soft skills for dating, many which have resulted in growth in areas outside those realms by improving all interactions and relationships. Family, friends, sustainability, honesty, acting in good faith, and simplicity are also core values for me. My parents have a vacation home in Keystone (Colorado Rockies) that I have frequented in the summers and winters since I was a kid and my father grew up vacationing with his parents there as well, making it a family tradition of sorts.
My Future Goals:
Having an amazing family unit and multilingual kids who bring a lot of good to this world. Developing a network of amazing and admirable people with exceptional values. I plan to become an exceptional investor and progress to investing for my family, then friends once I develop a strong and persistent track record with my own funds. Increasing my value through personal growth, expanding my circle of competence, interpersonal skills and connections, and being especially compassionate and kind to be the best influence in this world.
How I Identify People to Date:
To be upfront, I like to know (preferably in written form) the location, height, occupation (including aspirations), age, strong/rigid/important religious/cultural/personal beliefs, and interests of those wanting to date or network. I do look for common values (integrity, kindness, ambition, mental/physical/financial health, personal growth, and athleticism is unnecessary, but very appealing as playing sports is my preferred recreation) or other commonalities to those I’ve listed. I seek smart, successful, ambitious, and enterprising women for dating, friends, and contacts as I love people who are better than me and teach me things in their circles of competence and try to teach others in mine as well.
I do prefer to exchange pictures as well and hope that they fully represent your entire appearance as I've attempted to do in my pictures above.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I set my online dating filters to 40 or less and 5’3” or taller (but I make adjustments sometimes). I like to know about any fertility planning (or openness to such) especially in those older than 33 because I'd like to have 3 or more biological children with my partner, although I'm open to surrogacy and egg donation (if unlucky circumstances occur for the later). Happy to get semen analysis (although I'm fine with IVF and sperm donor in the unlikely event it's needed or even if you'd simply prefer someone with better genes than myself as I'm not insistent on my children being genetically related). Feel free to simply send screenshots of an online dating profile for your convenience as it's an easy way to use your time efficiently. Anything else that you’re willing to share about who you are and what you want to know is enthusiastically encouraged.
Other Things I like to know:
Anything that makes you a great partner. Please don’t be humble! I hate missing the opportunity to meet amazing women, but there are too many of you and one of the most difficult issues is efficiently identifying the exceptional women who are personality, goal, and value aligned who I should pursue. Detailed and transparent profiles and forthright communication is greatly appreciated. I created this website with all the information I'd think might be helpful. I'd happily look through any material or social media you would provide me. I only delay acquiring the information I want about women to avoid triggering or making women uncomfortable with direct questions that may tap in to their insecurities, desire for privacy/safety, and inclinations towards typical social conventions for escalation of trust and revealing who we are.
Anything that is helpful for you to decide whether you are interested in someone as a date or life partner, so I can provide the information that helps you along your journey.
I'd prefer to know your balance sheet (net worth) and cash flows (yearly earnings), although I hesitate to ask in person as most aren't as comfortable sharing them as early as I am, nor is it considered socially appropriate upon first meeting by most people's standards. I'd also love to know your opinions and flexibility on finances as they relate to relationships. If luxury, showing off, and keeping up with the jones is a priority for you, then we probably aren't a great match.
Strong, rigid, and/or important political, religious, cultural, and personal beliefs.
I am interested in how and to what extent you have invested time and energy in your own knowledge and skills and demonstrated ambition, diligence, resilience, growth, and success in your life and growing interpersonal relationships and your current hopes for the future (career, family, etc).
I like to know athletic background, interests, and/or willingness for such, but don’t require any because, I love to teach and have independent hobbies. I don't insist on my partner having the same interests and proclivities, but do like to know about this as a potential way to connect.
I like women who are kind, have integrity, a positive attitude, strong interpersonal/communication skills, and have a high potential for growth individually and as a couple.
Further Professional Pursuits
I'm over a year in to investing in individual stocks which I started with an online investment group which focuses on marine shipping and energy with a luckily timed shipping sector bull run followed by an unfortunate market diverging bear run for the sectors. Certainly, some interesting wins, lots of learning, and educational losses. I help manage a fraud lawsuit against a majority shareholder and his manager at a free standing emergency room practice who constructed a fraud scheme against their physician minority shareholders. I am also angel investing in my friend/former resident's medical device startup, considering taking up a board seat and other positions at companies in my industry (emergency medical practice facilities), and collaborating with a sharp 25-year-old value investor on our investment theses after we connected on Reddit in a common interest in Chinese microcap credit service companies, one of which I visited while I was in China with my now ex-girlfriend (oddly, the net current assets minus debt are worth more than the entire value of this very profitable and growing company and value of the company is only ~1.5 time the earnings like what was occasionally seen by Benjamin Graham during bear markets in the US decades ago).
FAQ
Why would you be a good husband and father?
I am an ambitious and accomplished individual with demonstrated success in my past and I have started to refocus on how to become an excellent husband and father. My parents, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins have strong stable marriages with only two out of eleven divorces and the two in second degree relatives. I read and think a lot about how to be a better partner (and find and choose the best one for me) and parent, with a recent emphasis on emotional intelligence and communication of which I admittedly had a huge opportunity for improvement but have and will continue to refine these skills. I've included some reviews from female friends that show some of my strengths. I also have a lot of value I can bring because of all the time and efforts I've spent investing in myself and the strong foundation I was granted by my upbringing and various genetic advantages. If anyone has any tips on how to become a better husband and father or how to attract and find the best partner for me, please feel free to provide any guidance.
What does your dating process look like?
I prefer to start as friends getting to know each other first with appropriate pacing rather than moving immediately to courtship and physical and emotional intimacy as we continue decide whether to intentionally advance to exclusivity. I am hesitant to be physically intimate or invest too much time quickly without adequate periods to reflect to avoid creating attachment prior to getting to know each other well enough to know we want to be exclusive. I regret that I sometimes disappoint women who are interested in starting with passion, intimacy, and moving quickly towards attachment and commitment, but again I worry about emotional entanglement without knowing each other well and the associated stress on the back end. I regret that meeting on a dating app creates a higher expectation of immediate romance than I believe is helpful for people who know little about each other, if they are trying to move strategically and intentionally to a life partnership. I am always inclined to maintain friendship even if life partnership doesn't seem appropriate. I try to protect the heart of those I'm dating and I believe this intentionality, strategy, and restraint might be helpful, but I certainly don't necessarily believe I have it all figured out.
I recommend two video chats spaced a week apart before I come to do an in person date if we have mutual interest. I love written material and social media to review as mentioned below, but don't require it since many women don't seem inclined to providing it. I hugely appreciate when matches look at this material and respond with information for which I like that's mentioned here (or make any effort to further share things about themselves), but again, I don't require or even suggest it as I feel they would have have simply provided such if they were willing to do so. I try to respond to all messages, but don't tend to initiate them often as I find audio, video, and in person more helpful, but am open to other preferences and certainly am interested to know and accommodate the preferences of others.
Why haven’t you found your life partner yet despite all your effort?
I didn't really start my journey in dating, intimacy, and relationships until about 10 years ago and I've had much to learn in that time. The website and strategy in its current form started about July 2024 after ending the relationship with my 4th girlfriend. The only significant relationship I’ve had since then was my first experience dating someone with excellent intellectual, emotional, value, and goal compatibility, but for whom I had no sexual attraction. That dating lasted about 3 months, although we are still friends. I do feel I'm getting close and making great progress in improving my emotional intelligence, understanding what I want, and how to attract and find the right women as the women I date are becoming more incredible with time and I am more capable and confident with them.
What were some reasons for the end of your past relationships?
Because I have previously been blamed for having a lack of accountability by a reader, I will start by noting that I have my fair share of weaknesses in relationships that I mention in sections further below. This section simply describes who initiated the breakup and why.
*The last woman I seriously dated, but did not enter exclusivity with I was not sexually attracted to as mentioned above (3 months long). We are now very good friends and collaborate on looking for our life partners.
*ex-GF4 (6 months long): I can't talk about this one publicly per her request.
*as I got to know ex-GF3 (6 months long) better, I felt her values, integrity, and emotional immaturity weren't what I wanted from my life partner and mother of my children.
*ex-GF2 (1 year long) has also asked me not to talk about the relationship. She suggests "We are both learning how to be better, and I think people should have the opportunity to learn about you and make their own opinion. You can just say that we were not compatible if someone asks."
*ex-GF1 (3 years long) was mentioned above in Past Relationship Positive Feedback and broke up with me. I believe I have worked on and changed many things that contributed to her decision, most notably that I didn't commit the time and energy to maintaining the relationship that a partner deserves because I didn't fully understand the importance of this concept and I was still much more concerned and invested in my occupational pursuits at that point.
Why Start A War for the name of the website?
It's a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y41xwsj7vIs
Ending
Thanks for taking the time to read my profile and any help you provide. Private and public comments available on top right and bottom of this page respectively. Contact info link in top right. 💫
I took out the dating blog/story section, so let me know and I can send it to you or consider bringing it back.
Everything Below was Removed for Brevity:
Survey questions
that I'd find helpful in addition to the information provided in a standard online profile:
1. How willing and able (fertility planning and/or number of frozen eggs if over 33) would you be to have 3 more kids.
2. What's your net worth and current/future earnings?
3. What are your greatest accomplishments and skills?
4. What are your future aspirations for your life and family?
5. What athletic background do you have?
6. Feel free to provide any information you believe is important for me to know.
Tag Line
Are you looking for a man in finance, 6’3”, green eyes???
Social Media
I like connecting with matches on LinkedIn to understand occupational and educational background. Occasionally, I find IG and Facebook useful when initially connecting because I don't feel the profile pictures that were chosen provide an adequate idea of what a person looks like. Once I decide I'm interested in investing time in a match and getting to know them I like being connected on social media because I find it helpful to stay in touch and I'm invested and curious about others successes and like to provide support. I often am hesitant to ask to connect because many women are careful with their privacy and anonymity, but please don't hesitate to let me know if you are alright with letting me see or connect with your social media as I'm generally interested in doing so when I'm building a connection.
Pickleball
Currently pickleball is my go to activity for networking and dating. It requires little coordination to enjoy and is an incredible networking tool through open play, which I feel all single people should be aware of. It's a viral cultural phenomenon, so it's incredibly timely and I just so happen to be the best tour guide and coach and out there because of my background in education and passion for it. Many women are nervous about trying, but not one has ever regretted it that I know of.
Opposite Sex Platonic Relationships:
Some women prefer I don't maintain contact with ex-GF1 and other women who I've developed friendships with and sometimes dated, which I've always complied with when requested. But I'll admit, I don't think it's necessary nor do I require the same from my partner with their male friends and exes. I'm good at maintaining clear boundaries and have never cheated emotionally or physically on any partner (nor do I plan to) and don't require such boundaries for my partner as I'm inherently trusting of others to manage these things themselves as they best see fit.
Why don't you hire a matchmaker?
I'm definitely considering it and open to any and all suggestions. I question whether they would connect me with anyone better than who I am finding on my own search. One match suggested that they search LinkedIn and their pool might include people who don't join the apps. Talked to one matchmaker who starts at 50k and explained that it basically is head hunting for matches. She suggested I should be focusing on the dating rather than the search. Do you think an ideal match would be more responsive to someone else doing the search than me doing it on my own on the apps? I figured I'd do a better job, given all my experience and effort and it would be more practical for someone who doesn't have the system and time to execute.
Why do I want 3 or more children?
I think raising children will be very rewarding despite all the work it will entail, even with the financial investments I plan to make in the difficult tasks of child rearing. Building strong and solid relationships with people, through family, friendship, mentorship, etc is very rewarding and a place that many of us find great satisfaction in life. I suspect I will too, but especially in one of the deepest bonds that all of us have between child and parent. Although we leave legacies to the world with many of the things we do, another is through the family and children we raise. Although, I'm proud of the influence I've had in this world (and hope to contribute more), I believe I can have even more with extension of the children and family of which I'm a part. I think my partner and I will have and raise great children with the help of our families and communities. Ultimately, it is a combination of personal reward, meaning, and further contribution I hope to make.
What are my areas for improvement in relationships?
I spend lots of time and energy on emotional intelligence and attachment, because I believe it will benefit myself and my life partner the most (but also incredibly useful skills in business, friendship, and other relationships) were introduced to me by an emotional intelligence and attachment coach and are related to many avoidant dismissive tendencies (despite my having secure attachment with GF1 as mentioned above. However, that relationship had several important areas for improvement, including that she prioritized my needs and wants at the expense of her own, which did lead to resentment on her part and we had some codependency and opportunities for growth in improving our communication and emotional intelligence (particularly myself. It was my first relationship though!). Below are some aspects that I still try to address and improve upon in relationships. I sometimes neglect my own emotional states and don't always correctly address the emotional states of others, although I am rapidly improving in these things and hope they will cause little issue going forward.
•In an intimate relationship, I sometimes feel suffocated by demands, especially if my partner asks me how I am feeling. I have difficulty identifying and describing some of my emotional states and often other people realize them before I do.
•I have often prioritized my interests, career, and hobbies over my relationships in the past.
•I am happy to meet the practical needs of my loved ones, but I sometimes get uncomfortable and have difficulty when these same people need emotional support.
•I am okay with asking others to meet my wants (i.e. friendships, sex life, physical intimacy), but not my needs (practical, financial, survival).
•When my feelings are hurt, I sometimes retreat and process instead of reaching out and talking it through with whoever hurt me.
•I previously had difficulty figuring out how to get close emotionally in dating and relationships.
•I like constant and predictable environments under my control because it helps me self-regulate (in addition to exercise which is one of my main self-regulation tools).
•I sometimes have difficulty opening up and being vulnerable.
•Keystone Limiting Belief: I am unsafe
•Other Limiting Beliefs: I am trapped, I am helpless, I am weak if vulnerable, I am powerless, “Why bother” belief, I am defective
•Triggers:
•Criticism/Shame
•Conflict
•Loss of independence/freedom
•Commitments (e.g.: Both big romantic commitments as well as just overcommitting their time, space, energy, etc.)
Avoidant Attachment Nervous System Response
•Stress Response: Predominantly Flight and/or Freeze Response
•Setting very large and strong boundaries
•Avoiding Conflict
•Ignoring/dismissing
•Frustration/irritation/impatience
•Chronic low level anxiety
•Stonewalling/Withdrawing/Distance
•Disconnection/dissociation
•Emotional Suppression/Numbing
•Avoiding Vulnerability
•Flaw findings of partners/deactivation
I try to do a lot of learning and reflecting to identify and address these various opportunities for improvement. GF1 thinks my ADD explains the greatest difficulties she experienced in being a relationship with me, as do GF2 and GF4. These things didn't seem to bother the last woman I dated and it's not clear to me whether I'm improving, but I believe and hope so.
Why include your net worth? Don't you think you'll attract the wrong people?
I definitely think it will attract some of the wrong people and scare away some of the right people. However, ultimately these are things I find many women including many of my female friends want to know and for very good reasons. Most of them aren't given the information, but try to look for indications of competency, financial, and social status. I'd rather just make it easy for women to figure out since some like to know and have continued to improve in my ability to screen the wrong women out as many other successful men and women learn to do. I also prefer to know the financial situation of women I date and so I see this as simply treating others as I myself prefer to be treated and opening up the channel for discussion that women might otherwise feel less inclined to approach without my precedent.
What is the typical response to this website and approach?
I'm not sure there is one, but the comments on this site and FAQ can give you a flavor.
Why didn't you reply?
I try to respond to as many messages as I can, but I sometimes wonder whether people would prefer no response if I haven't been presented enough information to suspect I'd be interested romantically in exploring life partnership and sometimes these responses get drawn out as I feel responsible to be as gentle and supportive as possible and address all concerns. If you do want a response please don't hesitate to make this clear or follow-up. I certainly am thankful for everyone's attention and interest and do often worry about the way with which people prefer to be communicated.
My Tips:
Dating is not easy for the vast majority of people, but the more you invest in improving your skills and abilities required for the process, the more likely you are to achieve any goals you have for your life in the realm and the skills are very useful for other areas of your life as well. What holds many people back is how difficult and discouraging the process can be, so consider finding collaborators, coaches, and mentors to keep you motivated in the process if your relationship goals are important to you. Resources that I've found helpful in improving myself have been using coaches, friends (but be careful trusting general opinions), mentoring others, writing/sharing who I am and what I'm looking for (and having people challenge me), following dating/relationship/life coaches on Reels so my short form media targets that content, and putting lots of time and energy in to personal improvement, dating, and relationship skills. It has been paying incredible dividends in my search and all aspects of my life. Good luck 🍀 to everyone and let me know how I can help and if you have discovered any pearls yourself.
Thank You for Everyone's Help
Thank you to those who have and continue to help in my quest for building my network of incredible women and finding a life partner with referrals, sharing this website, providing advice, revisions, and more.
42 year old, 6'3" ER physician turned investor ($13-20 M net worth) looking for a woman for life partnership and children. Ideally intelligent, ambitious, emotionally mature, and under the age of 34 (or have frozen eggs or other fertility plan) and are open to 3 or more kids (surrogacy is fine) and over 5’3" tall, but I am flexible. Flexible in terms of location as I will bear all the costs of traveling to you for dates and open to moving as well. 😀
Why should you read this and the FAQ?
This website was designed with you in mind. It is the information that I would want if I was in your position. It contains a good deal of information that those I am meeting ask and I bet some of it is useful information that you might not have thought to ask on your own. Please let me know if you have any ideas for other helpful information to include.
Public Social Media Accounts
https://www.instagram.com/dwpaulde/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dillon-paul-md-b238a684/
https://www.facebook.com/woodchuck
Strategy:
I (like many) am overwhelmed by the abundance and inefficiency of online dating, particularly the many vague and superficial profiles and indirect communicators that make it inefficient to determine with whom we would have mutual interest connecting. To help streamline the process, I created this website to outline information about me, my preferred strategy (but I'm fine with accommodating yours as well), and what I look for in women to invest the time and energy to date. My hope is to reduce the frequency of the same basic questions and help make it easier for the women who have aligned values, goals, interests, and personality find me for dating, friendship, and networking.
I am willing to go Kelce for Swift style with my phone number on a bracelet if you help me identify my Swift. Happy to enlighten you on Travis' story and how I relate to it.
Dating:
My home base is in Dallas, TX, but I’m mobile and do all the traveling/moving to make dating and relationships easier for the hardworking, ambitious, and successful women with whom I like connecting. I will re-emphasize this because it's unusual and can be a source of confusion, but I am happy to take on all the time and expense, and uproot my location for the women I want to meet and then ultimately the woman whose heart I want to win. I moved to Omaha where my last girlfriend lived once we became exclusive.
My Dating Mantra:
Dating is not just a means to finding a life partner, but a more dynamic process. Most won’t be the “one” and some may not be compatible romantically, but wins come in friends, business contacts, sports/hobby companions, partners for our friends, and other networking. And incremental growth or being touched by or touching the life of others happens more than we realize. We shouldn't become overly focused on finding our life partners without appreciating and being open to the many wins along the way.
Deal Breakers
I don’t date those with previous children and generally don't date those not wanting children or those not open, able, or likely to be able to have 3 or more biological children, although I'm fine with surrogacy and even egg donation if bad luck prevails for my partner and I.
I also don't date those with active substance abuse or history of addiction/dependence, but truthfully I also try to identify and avoid other characteristics suggestive of active or high risk of global life dysfunction, as I like women that function at high levels.
I want a partner who believes they can become comfortable with aborting a pregnancy with genetic concerns identified on prenatal testing (for example, Down syndrome but many others identifiable). I apologize in advance to the many who will find this offensive and disrespectful to a politically, religiously, socially, and emotionally loaded topic. I respect the woman's ultimate right to choose and change her mind on this issue once they are pregnant (and others right to believe no one should be allowed to have this choice) and would work through the issue at that time, but I'd prefer to find someone who believes they are inclined to this decision as I’d like to do everything I can to avoid committing to a life long union with a woman who ultimately holds the sole decision making of bringing a high needs child into the world, which I feel strongly is something I want to avoid with use of modern technology and have no ethical concerns with such, nor do many women I meet..
Description of Me:
Age: 42
Height: 6’3"
Weight: 200 lbs
Eyes: hazel/green/blue?
Hoodie: waiting for you to steal
I am a nonspiritual, ethical, capitalist, business owner, investor, and emergency physician emeritus who hasn't practiced clinical medicine for over 2 years due to a re-shifting of priorities and interests after transitioning from my most successful investment to date, which re-shifted my financial needs, goals, and position. I dedicate my time and energy to investing, working on myself (being coached, personal growth, improving EQ, communication, and confidence, etc), and finding a life partner (settling down and having a family). I grew up in Wilmington, Delaware, but my family is now in Tucson area [Dad (civil engineer who has an architectural degree as well), mom (retired physician assistant and former assister in regulatory compliance for agrochemical industry), uncle (sports medicine doctor), aunts (nurse midwife and retired former librarian)], Boulder area (nonbiological Bosnian exchange student brother who lived with family in high school and his wife and daughter), and Altadena [greater Los Angeles where sister (partner at big law), brother-in-law (accountant focusing on accounting software development), niece live]. I have no kids and have never been married (engaged for a month to my first girlfriend). I want kids, with current inclination to be as many to which my partner is agreeable (3 or more preferably) with reassessment together as we go and I'm fine with surrogate and open to egg donation in the unfortunate event it's needed. I don't use any illicit substances including drinking.
Financial:
I am a VHNWI (maybe between 13-20 M although I don't keep close tabs and these things fluctuate and are hard to estimate when it represents large holdings of private businesses and volatile stocks). I live a simple and inexpensive life independently but am flexible to the complexities and can easily afford the expenses desired by most women and plan to invest heavily on my children's education and assistance with many of the time consuming and tedious tasks of child rearing. However, I like women who make significant contributions themselves, so it feels like a strong partnership and am drawn to successful and ambitious women such as those in finance, lawyers, executives, and doctors. I do appreciate women who are financially successful and thrive and are valuable in our capitalistic world and I believe there are benefits in terms of lowering financial risks for both parties in the unfortunate event of divorce, especially with children (which I hope to avoid) and imagine there is a more balanced dynamic when both partners are financially secure and thriving. I'm also very thankful of the additional modeling and genes for the children and strength it provides for the family unit.
Values and Transparency:
I am interested in investing my time, energy, and money in principled women, so I like to be able to have strong indications of values, aspirations, history, and/or interests. I prefer transparency upfront, to help us see whether we are interested in developing a connection and getting to know each other further.
Politics:
I come from a progressive family and schooling and focus on respect, but avoid proselytizing about my support for sustainability, LGBT, and pro-choice to name a few. I am open and non-judgmental in immediately sharing any seemingly invasive information others find helpful to identify dates, life partners, or other people with whom they would like to make a meaningful connection, so I prefer you jump right in as I appreciate directness.
Past Relationship Positive Feedback:
Off the cuff feedback from an ex-gf: emotionally available, secure attachment, handled personal finance/investing for her, taught her skiing (and I'll add I'm happy to teach all sports or anything: circle of competences listed elsewhere), loyal, honest, funny (especially funny when not trying to be), moms love me, prioritize being available for loved ones when requested, generally agreeable and respectful of strong opinions of which I disagree, non-confrontational, and not a yeller. Can provide additional feedback from her on any specific factors you'd like to know before dating (including the things I needed to work on which are listed in the FAQ) or you can speak to her directly if you'd like, although it was my first relationship and I've grown enormously since then as it ended about 6 years ago.
Review by Two Female Friends:
Kind-hearted and genuinely good person with strong morals, good manners, reliable, caring, loyal, honest, smart, ambitious, and cute. I met both online dating and dated one. Can connect you with them if desired.
Interests:
playing sports 🥏⚽️🏀🎾🏐🏓⛷🏂🏄♂️🏋🏼♂️🤾🏼🏊🏻🚵🏼 pickleball and games. I exercise daily, often through team sports (currently basketball and ultimate frisbee most frequently) and weightlifting. Business, investing, and Warren Buffett have become recent passions over the last couple years, but I've had previous phases I've gone through in triathlons, personal finance, critically acclaimed rock music, emergency medicine, resuscitation, emergency airway management, procedural cadaver labs, etc. Self-improvement is a driver for me and my current focus has been emotional intelligence, dating, fostering attraction, and other soft skills for dating, many which have resulted in growth in areas outside those realms by improving all interactions and relationships. Family, friends, sustainability, honesty, acting in good faith, and simplicity are also core values for me. My parents have a vacation home in Keystone (Colorado Rockies) that I have frequented in the summers and winters since I was a kid and my father grew up vacationing with his parents there as well, making it a family tradition of sorts.
My Future Goals:
Having an amazing family unit and multilingual kids who bring a lot of good to this world. Developing a network of amazing and admirable people with exceptional values. I plan to become an exceptional investor and progress to investing for my family, then friends once I develop a strong and persistent track record with my own funds. Increasing my value through personal growth, expanding my circle of competence, interpersonal skills and connections, and being especially compassionate and kind to be the best influence in this world.
How I Identify People to Date:
To be upfront, I like to know (preferably in written form) the location, height, occupation (including aspirations), age, strong/rigid/important religious/cultural/personal beliefs, and interests of those wanting to date or network. I do look for common values (integrity, kindness, ambition, mental/physical/financial health, personal growth, and athleticism is unnecessary, but very appealing as playing sports is my preferred recreation) or other commonalities to those I’ve listed. I seek smart, successful, ambitious, and enterprising women for dating, friends, and contacts as I love people who are better than me and teach me things in their circles of competence and try to teach others in mine as well.
I do prefer to exchange pictures as well and hope that they fully represent your entire appearance as I've attempted to do in my pictures above.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I set my online dating filters to 40 or less and 5’3” or taller (but I make adjustments sometimes). I like to know about any fertility planning (or openness to such) especially in those older than 33 because I'd like to have 3 or more biological children with my partner, although I'm open to surrogacy and egg donation (if unlucky circumstances occur for the later). Happy to get semen analysis (although I'm fine with IVF and sperm donor in the unlikely event it's needed or even if you'd simply prefer someone with better genes than myself as I'm not insistent on my children being genetically related). Feel free to simply send screenshots of an online dating profile for your convenience as it's an easy way to use your time efficiently. Anything else that you’re willing to share about who you are and what you want to know is enthusiastically encouraged.
Other Things I like to know:
Anything that makes you a great partner. Please don’t be humble! I hate missing the opportunity to meet amazing women, but there are too many of you and one of the most difficult issues is efficiently identifying the exceptional women who are personality, goal, and value aligned who I should pursue. Detailed and transparent profiles and forthright communication is greatly appreciated. I created this website with all the information I'd think might be helpful. I'd happily look through any material or social media you would provide me. I only delay acquiring the information I want about women to avoid triggering or making women uncomfortable with direct questions that may tap in to their insecurities, desire for privacy/safety, and inclinations towards typical social conventions for escalation of trust and revealing who we are.
Anything that is helpful for you to decide whether you are interested in someone as a date or life partner, so I can provide the information that helps you along your journey.
I'd prefer to know your balance sheet (net worth) and cash flows (yearly earnings), although I hesitate to ask in person as most aren't as comfortable sharing them as early as I am, nor is it considered socially appropriate upon first meeting by most people's standards. I'd also love to know your opinions and flexibility on finances as they relate to relationships. If luxury, showing off, and keeping up with the jones is a priority for you, then we probably aren't a great match.
Strong, rigid, and/or important political, religious, cultural, and personal beliefs.
I am interested in how and to what extent you have invested time and energy in your own knowledge and skills and demonstrated ambition, diligence, resilience, growth, and success in your life and growing interpersonal relationships and your current hopes for the future (career, family, etc).
I like to know athletic background, interests, and/or willingness for such, but don’t require any because, I love to teach and have independent hobbies. I don't insist on my partner having the same interests and proclivities, but do like to know about this as a potential way to connect.
I like women who are kind, have integrity, a positive attitude, strong interpersonal/communication skills, and have a high potential for growth individually and as a couple.
Further Professional Pursuits
I'm over a year in to investing in individual stocks which I started with an online investment group which focuses on marine shipping and energy with a luckily timed shipping sector bull run followed by an unfortunate market diverging bear run for the sectors. Certainly, some interesting wins, lots of learning, and educational losses. I help manage a fraud lawsuit against a majority shareholder and his manager at a free standing emergency room practice who constructed a fraud scheme against their physician minority shareholders. I am also angel investing in my friend/former resident's medical device startup, considering taking up a board seat and other positions at companies in my industry (emergency medical practice facilities), and collaborating with a sharp 25-year-old value investor on our investment theses after we connected on Reddit in a common interest in Chinese microcap credit service companies, one of which I visited while I was in China with my now ex-girlfriend (oddly, the net current assets minus debt are worth more than the entire value of this very profitable and growing company and value of the company is only ~1.5 time the earnings like what was occasionally seen by Benjamin Graham during bear markets in the US decades ago).
FAQ
Why would you be a good husband and father?
I am an ambitious and accomplished individual with demonstrated success in my past and I have started to refocus on how to become an excellent husband and father. My parents, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins have strong stable marriages with only two out of eleven divorces and the two in second degree relatives. I read and think a lot about how to be a better partner (and find and choose the best one for me) and parent, with a recent emphasis on emotional intelligence and communication of which I admittedly had a huge opportunity for improvement but have and will continue to refine these skills. I've included some reviews from female friends that show some of my strengths. I also have a lot of value I can bring because of all the time and efforts I've spent investing in myself and the strong foundation I was granted by my upbringing and various genetic advantages. If anyone has any tips on how to become a better husband and father or how to attract and find the best partner for me, please feel free to provide any guidance.
What does your dating process look like?
I prefer to start as friends getting to know each other first with appropriate pacing rather than moving immediately to courtship and physical and emotional intimacy as we continue decide whether to intentionally advance to exclusivity. I am hesitant to be physically intimate or invest too much time quickly without adequate periods to reflect to avoid creating attachment prior to getting to know each other well enough to know we want to be exclusive. I regret that I sometimes disappoint women who are interested in starting with passion, intimacy, and moving quickly towards attachment and commitment, but again I worry about emotional entanglement without knowing each other well and the associated stress on the back end. I regret that meeting on a dating app creates a higher expectation of immediate romance than I believe is helpful for people who know little about each other, if they are trying to move strategically and intentionally to a life partnership. I am always inclined to maintain friendship even if life partnership doesn't seem appropriate. I try to protect the heart of those I'm dating and I believe this intentionality, strategy, and restraint might be helpful, but I certainly don't necessarily believe I have it all figured out.
I recommend two video chats spaced a week apart before I come to do an in person date if we have mutual interest. I love written material and social media to review as mentioned below, but don't require it since many women don't seem inclined to providing it. I hugely appreciate when matches look at this material and respond with information for which I like that's mentioned here (or make any effort to further share things about themselves), but again, I don't require or even suggest it as I feel they would have have simply provided such if they were willing to do so. I try to respond to all messages, but don't tend to initiate them often as I find audio, video, and in person more helpful, but am open to other preferences and certainly am interested to know and accommodate the preferences of others.
Why haven’t you found your life partner yet despite all your effort?
I didn't really start my journey in dating, intimacy, and relationships until about 10 years ago and I've had much to learn in that time. The website and strategy in its current form started about July 2024 after ending the relationship with my 4th girlfriend. The only significant relationship I’ve had since then was my first experience dating someone with excellent intellectual, emotional, value, and goal compatibility, but for whom I had no sexual attraction. That dating lasted about 3 months, although we are still friends. I do feel I'm getting close and making great progress in improving my emotional intelligence, understanding what I want, and how to attract and find the right women as the women I date are becoming more incredible with time and I am more capable and confident with them.
What were some reasons for the end of your past relationships?
Because I have previously been blamed for having a lack of accountability by a reader, I will start by noting that I have my fair share of weaknesses in relationships that I mention in sections further below. This section simply describes who initiated the breakup and why.
*The last woman I seriously dated, but did not enter exclusivity with I was not sexually attracted to as mentioned above (3 months long). We are now very good friends and collaborate on looking for our life partners.
*ex-GF4 (6 months long): I can't talk about this one publicly per her request.
*as I got to know ex-GF3 (6 months long) better, I felt her values, integrity, and emotional immaturity weren't what I wanted from my life partner and mother of my children.
*ex-GF2 (1 year long) has also asked me not to talk about the relationship. She suggests "We are both learning how to be better, and I think people should have the opportunity to learn about you and make their own opinion. You can just say that we were not compatible if someone asks."
*ex-GF1 (3 years long) was mentioned above in Past Relationship Positive Feedback and broke up with me. I believe I have worked on and changed many things that contributed to her decision, most notably that I didn't commit the time and energy to maintaining the relationship that a partner deserves because I didn't fully understand the importance of this concept and I was still much more concerned and invested in my occupational pursuits at that point.
Why Start A War for the name of the website?
It's a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y41xwsj7vIs
Ending
Thanks for taking the time to read my profile and any help you provide. Private and public comments available on top right and bottom of this page respectively. Contact info link in top right. 💫
I took out the dating blog/story section, so let me know and I can send it to you or consider bringing it back.
Everything Below was Removed for Brevity:
Survey questions
that I'd find helpful in addition to the information provided in a standard online profile:
1. How willing and able (fertility planning and/or number of frozen eggs if over 33) would you be to have 3 more kids.
2. What's your net worth and current/future earnings?
3. What are your greatest accomplishments and skills?
4. What are your future aspirations for your life and family?
5. What athletic background do you have?
6. Feel free to provide any information you believe is important for me to know.
Tag Line
Are you looking for a man in finance, 6’3”, green eyes???
Social Media
I like connecting with matches on LinkedIn to understand occupational and educational background. Occasionally, I find IG and Facebook useful when initially connecting because I don't feel the profile pictures that were chosen provide an adequate idea of what a person looks like. Once I decide I'm interested in investing time in a match and getting to know them I like being connected on social media because I find it helpful to stay in touch and I'm invested and curious about others successes and like to provide support. I often am hesitant to ask to connect because many women are careful with their privacy and anonymity, but please don't hesitate to let me know if you are alright with letting me see or connect with your social media as I'm generally interested in doing so when I'm building a connection.
Pickleball
Currently pickleball is my go to activity for networking and dating. It requires little coordination to enjoy and is an incredible networking tool through open play, which I feel all single people should be aware of. It's a viral cultural phenomenon, so it's incredibly timely and I just so happen to be the best tour guide and coach and out there because of my background in education and passion for it. Many women are nervous about trying, but not one has ever regretted it that I know of.
Opposite Sex Platonic Relationships:
Some women prefer I don't maintain contact with ex-GF1 and other women who I've developed friendships with and sometimes dated, which I've always complied with when requested. But I'll admit, I don't think it's necessary nor do I require the same from my partner with their male friends and exes. I'm good at maintaining clear boundaries and have never cheated emotionally or physically on any partner (nor do I plan to) and don't require such boundaries for my partner as I'm inherently trusting of others to manage these things themselves as they best see fit.
Why don't you hire a matchmaker?
I'm definitely considering it and open to any and all suggestions. I question whether they would connect me with anyone better than who I am finding on my own search. One match suggested that they search LinkedIn and their pool might include people who don't join the apps. Talked to one matchmaker who starts at 50k and explained that it basically is head hunting for matches. She suggested I should be focusing on the dating rather than the search. Do you think an ideal match would be more responsive to someone else doing the search than me doing it on my own on the apps? I figured I'd do a better job, given all my experience and effort and it would be more practical for someone who doesn't have the system and time to execute.
Why do I want 3 or more children?
I think raising children will be very rewarding despite all the work it will entail, even with the financial investments I plan to make in the difficult tasks of child rearing. Building strong and solid relationships with people, through family, friendship, mentorship, etc is very rewarding and a place that many of us find great satisfaction in life. I suspect I will too, but especially in one of the deepest bonds that all of us have between child and parent. Although we leave legacies to the world with many of the things we do, another is through the family and children we raise. Although, I'm proud of the influence I've had in this world (and hope to contribute more), I believe I can have even more with extension of the children and family of which I'm a part. I think my partner and I will have and raise great children with the help of our families and communities. Ultimately, it is a combination of personal reward, meaning, and further contribution I hope to make.
What are my areas for improvement in relationships?
I spend lots of time and energy on emotional intelligence and attachment, because I believe it will benefit myself and my life partner the most (but also incredibly useful skills in business, friendship, and other relationships) were introduced to me by an emotional intelligence and attachment coach and are related to many avoidant dismissive tendencies (despite my having secure attachment with GF1 as mentioned above. However, that relationship had several important areas for improvement, including that she prioritized my needs and wants at the expense of her own, which did lead to resentment on her part and we had some codependency and opportunities for growth in improving our communication and emotional intelligence (particularly myself. It was my first relationship though!). Below are some aspects that I still try to address and improve upon in relationships. I sometimes neglect my own emotional states and don't always correctly address the emotional states of others, although I am rapidly improving in these things and hope they will cause little issue going forward.
•In an intimate relationship, I sometimes feel suffocated by demands, especially if my partner asks me how I am feeling. I have difficulty identifying and describing some of my emotional states and often other people realize them before I do.
•I have often prioritized my interests, career, and hobbies over my relationships in the past.
•I am happy to meet the practical needs of my loved ones, but I sometimes get uncomfortable and have difficulty when these same people need emotional support.
•I am okay with asking others to meet my wants (i.e. friendships, sex life, physical intimacy), but not my needs (practical, financial, survival).
•When my feelings are hurt, I sometimes retreat and process instead of reaching out and talking it through with whoever hurt me.
•I previously had difficulty figuring out how to get close emotionally in dating and relationships.
•I like constant and predictable environments under my control because it helps me self-regulate (in addition to exercise which is one of my main self-regulation tools).
•I sometimes have difficulty opening up and being vulnerable.
•Keystone Limiting Belief: I am unsafe
•Other Limiting Beliefs: I am trapped, I am helpless, I am weak if vulnerable, I am powerless, “Why bother” belief, I am defective
•Triggers:
•Criticism/Shame
•Conflict
•Loss of independence/freedom
•Commitments (e.g.: Both big romantic commitments as well as just overcommitting their time, space, energy, etc.)
Avoidant Attachment Nervous System Response
•Stress Response: Predominantly Flight and/or Freeze Response
•Setting very large and strong boundaries
•Avoiding Conflict
•Ignoring/dismissing
•Frustration/irritation/impatience
•Chronic low level anxiety
•Stonewalling/Withdrawing/Distance
•Disconnection/dissociation
•Emotional Suppression/Numbing
•Avoiding Vulnerability
•Flaw findings of partners/deactivation
I try to do a lot of learning and reflecting to identify and address these various opportunities for improvement. GF1 thinks my ADD explains the greatest difficulties she experienced in being a relationship with me, as do GF2 and GF4. These things didn't seem to bother the last woman I dated and it's not clear to me whether I'm improving, but I believe and hope so.
Why include your net worth? Don't you think you'll attract the wrong people?
I definitely think it will attract some of the wrong people and scare away some of the right people. However, ultimately these are things I find many women including many of my female friends want to know and for very good reasons. Most of them aren't given the information, but try to look for indications of competency, financial, and social status. I'd rather just make it easy for women to figure out since some like to know and have continued to improve in my ability to screen the wrong women out as many other successful men and women learn to do. I also prefer to know the financial situation of women I date and so I see this as simply treating others as I myself prefer to be treated and opening up the channel for discussion that women might otherwise feel less inclined to approach without my precedent.
What is the typical response to this website and approach?
I'm not sure there is one, but the comments on this site and FAQ can give you a flavor.
Why didn't you reply?
I try to respond to as many messages as I can, but I sometimes wonder whether people would prefer no response if I haven't been presented enough information to suspect I'd be interested romantically in exploring life partnership and sometimes these responses get drawn out as I feel responsible to be as gentle and supportive as possible and address all concerns. If you do want a response please don't hesitate to make this clear or follow-up. I certainly am thankful for everyone's attention and interest and do often worry about the way with which people prefer to be communicated.
My Tips:
Dating is not easy for the vast majority of people, but the more you invest in improving your skills and abilities required for the process, the more likely you are to achieve any goals you have for your life in the realm and the skills are very useful for other areas of your life as well. What holds many people back is how difficult and discouraging the process can be, so consider finding collaborators, coaches, and mentors to keep you motivated in the process if your relationship goals are important to you. Resources that I've found helpful in improving myself have been using coaches, friends (but be careful trusting general opinions), mentoring others, writing/sharing who I am and what I'm looking for (and having people challenge me), following dating/relationship/life coaches on Reels so my short form media targets that content, and putting lots of time and energy in to personal improvement, dating, and relationship skills. It has been paying incredible dividends in my search and all aspects of my life. Good luck 🍀 to everyone and let me know how I can help and if you have discovered any pearls yourself.
Thank You for Everyone's Help
Thank you to those who have and continue to help in my quest for building my network of incredible women and finding a life partner with referrals, sharing this website, providing advice, revisions, and more.
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